mothering
is sacred

work

female-identified folks
with & without their own children
do the vast majority of care work
(paid & unpaid; but mostly unpaid, tbh —
or deeply underpaid)
on planet earth
_________________

Amelia Kriss (RDT #663) is a Registered Drama Therapist & ICF-Certified Coach in private practice in Oakland CA.

who i work with

  • Mamas, eldest daughters, & "your strong friend"

    No matter your gender identity, and whether you’re raising children of your own or not: if taking on the lion’s share of caregiving, emotional labor , “watching the store” and “righting the ship” are familiar roles or patterns, this is for you.
    (see also: over-extending,
    over-functioning,
    self care LOL what is that???)

  • Dads, Non-Gestational Parents, & Partners

    The path to parenthood & through the postpartum time can be gnarly, and as much as birthing parents & primary caregivers (who are often one and the same, but not always) aren’t provided with a good enough map or good enough support along the way, their partners & co-parents often get even less.

    There is space for you here.

  • Womxn, Femmes, & the soft parts within all of us

    As an IFS-informed practitioner, I use “parts work” to help clients relate more consciously & compassionately with the many fascinating, brilliant, different aspects of themselves. Some of our parts are holding pain—from our families or other relationships, or from larger societal narratives about who we “should” or “should not” be—but this pain truly doesn’t have to be permanent.

Working Together:
Topics & Tools

  • Pregnancy, Postpartum, & Birth Story Medicine

    Supporting folks through (and throughout) their transition into parenthood is my jam. Often, this includes processing original family experiences, hopes & fears re: labor & birth, creating new family norms/values, navigating the massive adjustment to the brand new, and often very-high-stakes-feeling, role of being a parent (NBD!)
    With Birth Story Medicine, I help folks integrate & find their own meaning and healing—especially in terms of what feels difficult or unresolved—in their birth experience(s).

  • Internal Family Family Systems, Drama Therapy, & EMDR

    IFS, Drama Therapy, & Co-Active Coaching have all informed my working assumptions:
    1. You are a complex being holding many different roles, identities, & experiences, and how you relate to various parts of yourself & explore your own personal narrative matters.
    2. You are worthy & capable of this exploration; which is deep, challenging, beautiful, & kind of mysterious.
    3. You are not “broken” or “needy” or “bad”; you are human, and whole—even (especially) when you don’t feel it.
    And I will be here to remind you.

  • The Daring Way™, Leadership, & Good Girl Metamorphosis

    Many of my clients are actively deconstructing internalized societal “rules” about themselves/the world in order to live with more authenticity, fulfillment, courage, and joy. Even if we have a pretty clear idea what needs to be discarded or expanded (e.g. “boys don’t cry”), we often need support figuring out a. how to excavate it, and b. how to handle whatever may have been turned upside down in the process. I’ve found The Daring Way™—born out of Dr. Brené Brown’s research—to be a useful framework in these moments.

some of my inspirations for our work together:

“About a year into the pandemic, at an emotional low,
I entered the hours I spent caring for my family and our home into the online Invisible Labor Calculator to see how much my work might be worth. It was created by the journalist Amy Westervelt, who used Bureau of Labor Statistics data to assign an hourly wage to different tasks—cleaning, considering the emotional needs of family members, doing yard work, cooking, etc.
I was floored when the calculator told me that my annual wage should be more than $300,000, which would make being a domestic worker the highest-paying job I’ve ever had. By far.”

— angela garbes

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

— Martha Graham

“Gatherings are reflections of a community’s values, belief systems and assumptions of roles. There is no place where it is easier to see these assumptions (conscious or unconscious) than in a baby shower.
Before my first child was born, when I was having a baby shower for women by women, my husband asked if he could come. At first I thought he was joking. And then, I realized he was very serious. If we were actually committed to co-parenting, to raising a child together, to both working and both parenting, doesn’t he also need advice and support?
In the years since, I’ve been to a wide range of baby showers, and it has left me with this question: If we are wanting new types of parenting models, don’t we need new types of rituals to get us there?

— priya parker

Motherload
by Kate Baer

She keeps an office in her sternum, the flat
bone in the center of her chest with all its
urgent papers, vast appointments, lists of
minor things. In her vertebra she holds the more
carnal tasks; milk jugs, rotten plants, heavy-
bottomed toddlers in all their mortal rage.

She keeps frustration in her hallux; senseless
chatter, jealous fangs, the spikes of a dinosaur’s
tail. The belly is more complicated—all heartache
and ambition. Fires and tidal waves. 

In her pelvis she holds her labors, long and
slippery. In her clavicle, silent things. (Money
and power. Safety and choice. Tiny banquets
of shame.)

In her hands she carries their egos, small and
flimsy. In her mouth she holds her laughter,
gentle currents, a cosmos of everything.